Been Busy Izzy?

I've Been Busy

2010-03-10T00:24:00.002-06:00

It's pretty ridiculous how busy I feel I've been lately. It's really a pretty weird thing, I feel like I'm busy and have a lot to do but then I look back and I can't really figure out what I did. It's been frustrating for sure. I always thought I knew better but I might have put too much on my plate. I don't see how it happened. But it might be the case.

Haven't taken many pictures lately but it's going to be happening soon and they'll be on here.

I promise.

Snickerdoodle

2009-09-14T03:04:00.004-05:00

I've been working at TT's for a few weeks now since I was unable to get a real job, whatever that is. There's days I love it and there are days I hate it. I love it because my co-workers are fun, I deliver cookies, I get to drive around and listen to music, I usually don't have to wake up early, I get to help people out at the register or sit in the back depending on how I feel, and I have a schedule that so far is pretty flexible. And because I've decided I'm going to give the Austin Stone AVLC internship a shot it allows for me to be able to put in some quality time at the office if I want to. Which I probably will.

The down side to working at TT's is that I'm not really taking my professional career anywhere by working there, I'm working hours that keep me from waking up at a decent hour, sleeping in is keeping me from looking for a better job, I'm probably wearing out my car, although I'm not pounding down cookies I'm eating more than I normally would, I'm not making enough to save any money, and I'm just not 100% satisfied being there so I don't like it.

I'll be honest and lay it out there that I'm not really sure what exactly I want to do, but I do know it's not this. I want to see what all is available and check it out on a case by case basis and see what I feel I could do. Who knows I might be happy selling industrial sized screw drivers to freight train companies or something. I really don't know. God has a plan for me though, and I know that when I'm where I need to be I'll know it. TT's is not it.

Austin Stone Intern orientation is Wednesday and I'm nervous and excited. I've been waiting a long time to get an opportunity like this one, although back when I was really into working at a church I thought I'd be doing youth stuff, but the AVLC internship is definitely what I'm feeling at this point in my life. I'm hoping it will be one of the more life changing moments in my life. I love Chris and Phillip and am really excited to get to work with them and do life with them as we serve the church.

Pfffffffff

2009-07-14T04:53:00.002-05:00

So here's the deal. Yesterday I decided that I'm going to give it a go and try to stay in Austin until the end of the year. This is going to require me to find some sort of job to make ends meat with. I don't think that'll be too difficult but just like everything else I try to do I find a way to make it more difficult than it should be. What I'm battling with is I'm not really sure if I should search for a part time job that is basic and really doesn't require a degree, or if I should give something a little more professional a shot. If I weren't planning to leave for the first job offer I got I wouldn't see a reason not to get the latter, but I don't want someone to go to the trouble of training me and thinking that they have a good thing going and then just leave. I'd rather someone just find another employee quick and easy. But I'm not sure.....

Another thing that has come up that could possibly be be cool would be getting a real estate license and giving that a go. I've thrown the idea around to a couple people and so far it seems like it might be a good idea. Even my mother jumped on the idea and seemed to be really supportive. My moms support on the matter is definitely a big factor in my even considering the idea. Never thought it would be an option, but I'm really starting to like the idea of it. I actually like it a lot. We'll see what happens.

So life has been kind of rough not having a job and all, but lately there have been some new curve balls I wasn't expecting as well. Definitely ben distracted a lot but thank God I think I finally feel like I'm getting back on track. Sometimes my priorities and focus gets thrown off and it takes me running into a wall to realize that i've veered of the road I was on. What really gets me is the fact that the new road isn't a bad thing, you could think of it as more of a detour or different route to just about the same place. I really just need Gods guidance at this point in my life. Way to many possibilities and decisions to make that should not be made without a lot of prayer.

Still No Job

2009-06-29T00:39:00.002-05:00

So here's the news from the front line. I'm still unemployed. But honestly I'm ok with that right now. If I didn't have all this free time I wouldn't be able to do things like go off to Omaha for the College World Series, which was definitely an experience to remember for many many many reasons.

This week i'll be applying to some jobs which I consider pretty high profile and legit and I'm really hoping to get at least one interview out of the deal. As of now I've really not had any call backs from jobs that I want so hopefully this week brings around some change regarding that.

Keep me in yalls prayers.

And so it begins...

2009-06-05T11:52:00.004-05:00

So I'm now on a crazed hunt for a job. Not really a physically crazed hunt, you won't find me convulsing and running around trying to find a job, but rather a calm, collected, yet crazed deep inside and picky web based job hunt. Those of us who have grown up and graduated with the internet are very fortunate, can you imagine what looking for a job would be like if we didn't have the internet? I wouldn't be able to just lock myself in my cave and have an almost non-physical job search. Honestly though, only part of my body that's moving right now are my hands. It's ridiculous.

I just got back from my post graduation vacation to Playa del Carmen. I definitely caught a lot of sun as most of you guys will be able to tell, also gained a couple pounds. It's just really hard to say no to Mexican food. It's just so so good. We had guacamole with every meal we could, it was amazing. It was such a blast. It was also great to have Josh and Gibby there to share it all with. They're probably the best travel buddies I could ask for. We seem to be interested in seeing the same things and get a long fairly well. Hopefully we can continue these travels of ours long into the future.

So what's next?

2009-05-18T02:04:00.002-05:00

I'm in a very interesting position. More than ever do I have to keep my eyes open to the Lord's will for my life. Until now life has had a flowing route as one thing just kind of led to another, but now there's nothing really to flow to. At least I don't think so. I am ready and willing to go and do whatever I'm called to do I just hope that I don't have to wait long to see what that is. But I will be patient if i have to.

I turned in my final assignment today. As long as I don't fail any classes, which I'm pretty sure I didn't, I'll be getting my diploma May 22, 2009. I can't believe it. Some days I really didn't think I'd ever see this day. I'm very happy. I wish my dad were here to share this moment with me though. He was a big part of drive and desire to stand back up when I felt like I was knocked down. I think he'd be proud. Unfortunate he can't tell me in person though. His approval was something I always strived for whether he knew it or not. I miss him.

In other news, a week from today I'll be relaxing on the beautiful beaches of Playa del Carmen with a couple of my buds, Josh and Gibby. We've got this glob trotting streak going since we've traveled through Spain and Morocco together, next is Mexico. It should be a blast. More than anything I just want to get my mind off everything and just relax. I want to read on the beach for hours and not worry about anything. I'm excited.

Recently I've been hanging out with a bunch of new people and it's been a blast. Fresh faces, ideas, and laughter. I can't get enough of them. I do miss hanging with all my boys though. Since school is over hopefully I get some good quality time in with some BYX guys.

May 22nd, 2009. The day I graduate.

CMA 3.108

2009-05-13T01:44:00.002-05:00

CMA 3.108, rooms like this one have been a favorite of mine for late night studying. Reason #1: Huge table with power outlets and other gadgets available right smack in the middle of the table.
Reason #2: Headphone jack which gives allows for you to listen to music over the speakers installed in the classroom. Big plus in my book.
Reason #3: Can be as intimate or rowdy as you want. Bring a friend or two or three or don't.
Reason #4: Easy access to parking at 5:45 and later. Big plus for those late nights when you dread a long walk to your car.
Reason #6: You can control the A/C. Yes, the rooms have individual thermostats.
Reason #7: Wooden chairs that aren't harsh, but aren't super comfortable either. Allow for increased focus and what I like to call a "power posture." Definitely increases productivity.
Reason #8: Access to Document Cam, Projector, VCR player, and DVD player. I've come in and watched movies. Even in the huge auditorium on the lower floor. Too bad the move was eh.

So if you're still going to be around at UT listen up. Study at the CMA in your own private room. Doesn't make sense not too.

Quickie

2009-05-06T19:23:00.002-05:00

I don't have time to really be leaving a post because it's probably not the best use of my time but I really don't feel like writing 10 pages on the Latin American Literature Boom of the 1960s. Some of it is cool and all. But what am I supposed to say on this subject? These guys loved the ladies, that's all I really want to say. But so what, all of hispanic guys are bred for love. Kidding.....

Well after tomorrow at 930 I think I can pretty much consider my undergraduate time over and done with. Exciting!!! Scary!!! I really hope God opens my eyes to the path he has laid for me. I don't know how badly I'd be freaking out if I wasn't confident that he is in control. Oh yeah. I love God, what a comfort he brings.

Ok. Well I'm going to close my eyes for 15 minutes or so and then hit this baby hard.

We were walking Downtown. Yeah...

2009-04-07T21:17:00.009-05:00

"We were waking Downtown. Yeah...
My favorite part of town."

The lyrics above are from Walking Downtown by Copeland from the album Beneath the Medicine Tree.
Why those lyrics?
Because Holy Smokes Copeland was amazing!

I expected it to be a great show, but I didn't expect it to be my favorite show of all time. Yes. I said it. Best show I've ever been too. Not overall, because I didn't find all the openers to be entertaining, but Copeland's set was just simply amazing and I don't know if I'll ever experience better. Not only did they play a bunch from their newest album, You Are My Sunshine, but they played songs from every album they've released. Made for a great night of singing. The blend also gave Copeland fans old and new the opportunity to hear exactly what they're packing in their repertoire.

As i've said before, I didn't really care what they played because I love it all so the fact that they just played hard and played as much as they could was enough for me. I can't describe the happiness I was going through as one after another Aaron Marsh belted out songs, and the fans reciprocated. I was definitely in a very happy place. They even covered Tonight, Tonight by The Smashing Pumpkins, which I later asked for them to record and post somewhere. They ended with You Have My Attention.

Afterwards I bought their newest album on vinyl and got all the guys to sign it. I made sure to ask each one of them if they remembered me from the time they played BYX Island Party back in the Spring of 06, last time I had the opportunity to see them, and they said they did. They even remembered details about the day and some of the things that we talked about, did I feel special? YEP! The guys were so nice and hung around and talked to everyone that wanted to speak with them, they're really just stand up individuals. Aaron, Brian, John, and Steven........ Thanks for being you and keep on rockin'.

Note: This was my little brothers first concert and I'm proud to have been able to take him to it, and I'm extra happy that it was Copeland. Always nice to share an experience like that one with someone you love.

Just typing this out has made me feel like a giddy little girl. If you haven't listened to Copeland let me know and we'll change it. Great guys, great music, great lyrics.

In to other news.

I have an Anthropology exam tomorrow but I'm procrastinating a little but to type this out. I have 3 or 4 chapters to read before tomorrow at 2. Hopefully won't take too long to get through it all.

I'm officially a Twitterer. Look me up. Not sure how long it'll last but so far I don't think it's too much of a time commitment so maybe it'll last longer than I expect it too.

Last night at BYX meeting while we were doing praise and worship I realized the reality and meaning of Christ being beaten and crucified for me. It was pretty sweet. So many thoughts and ideas flew through my head and I just had this moment where I couldn't really believe that someone went through so much for me to save me from my fate as a sinner. Ridiculous. Let's talk about it.

SPECIAL SHOUT OUT:
Today was my friend Nick Willaims' birthday and I had the pleasure to sit next to his sister, Amanda, who I told I would post about on my blog. Why? I think so that she could try and google herself, don't think it'll work but whatever. Anyways here we go.
Amanda Williams, well she eats sweet potatoes with sweet n' low on them, kind of strange in my opinion but actually does taste pretty good. Amanda Williams enjoys eating only the icing on baked goods, I witnessed it. Amanda Williams listens to almost all of Clear Channels radio stations here in Austin. You go Amanda!

Well that's it for tonight. Time for some alone time between me and a certain textbook. OH YEAH.

Sleep Now Moon

2009-03-31T22:55:00.002-05:00

"Sleep now moon
I'll watch over her while the sun is up
And you'll have her eyes again soon"

That's the beginning of the song "When Paula Sparks" by Copeland. If you didn't know Copeland is one of my favorite bands, I pretty much put them right under The Beatles and on good days right next to them. I really really really like Copeland. Back in the Spring of 06 Copeland was the headliner for BYX Island Party and I was blessed with the opportunity to be tagged with the duty of photographer, but all I really did was go back to the Green Room and spend the day with the guys. They were all so nice and we really hit it off. Aaron was a little more on the quiet side but it's expected from a guy that can write lyrics like he does. This Sunday I'm going down to Houston to watch them perform at Java Jazz accompanied by my little brother, who I've gotten hooked on Copeland. I don't think he's as big a fan as I am but I know that he appreciates them and that's all I need. Unlike most bands that I go see, I really don't have a list of songs that I want them to perform, I want to hear anything and everything that they are willing to play. The show is going to be killer.

I received word that i'll be receiving my ring on April 20th.... MY BIRTHDAY!!! Pretty sweet. It'll be cool to finally start getting some hardware that signifies some accomplishment here at UT. Until now it's all been little numbers on audits growing smaller and GPA fluctuations. Finally something tangible and shiny, because we all like shiny.

On a spiritual note, I've come to accept that there are a couple things I struggle with that I had never admitted to myself until this past weekend. 1) That I have a deep struggle with pride 2) That I do not treat my faith with the same importance at all times, it may sometimes seem like I am ashamed of it. I'm going to change this immediately. I've never thought of myself as someone that could struggle with pride because I just didn't see much in my life that I could seem prideful about, but somehow I turned that into pride, and then that just made it all a mess. But no more. The whole concept of being ashamed is a little more of a struggle and I've seen it peek around before but I never acknowledged it. But no more.
I feel that now that I'm graduating I'll be needing to be as strong in my faith as ever. I've always had something keeping me in check week long such as BYX brothers but now that's ending and things are going to change a little. Things aren't going to dramatically change I believe but I definitely feel God preparing me for something. It's exciting, but at the same time I kind wonder what the future holds. Lately I feel like God's calling me to go off somewhere, not sure whether it's to just work or do ministry things but whatever it is I'm willing. I just want to serve.

Springbreakitis

2009-03-08T22:42:00.002-05:00

It's the week before Spring Break and I have an ACTlab project due Thursday and a midterm in the class whose official title I believe is Latin American Literature after Post Modernism. The ACTlab project isn't done, but it shouldn't be to difficult to finish up. As for the midterm......let's just say I'm pretty much in the spring break zone already. I've been waiting for this week since the day I realized what my semester was going to be like. Hopefully it lives up to be being a relaxing and rejuvenating week, because that's what I need.

I'm just going to be hanging around Austin the entire break so hopefully that'll allow me to get some things I've been putting off out of the way. One being finalizing my resume and starting to get it out there and on peoples desks. I have a couple leads that I'm really excited about but we're just going to have to wait and see how things go. I'm probably starting this mass resume mailing thing a little later than I should have but it's a very intimidating thought. Sending out a quick shallow synopsis of who you are and having people decide whether they like you or not. I don't want to think that I'm not liked.

I ordered my UT class ring on Friday. It comes in either on my birthday or the day after so pretty much great timing. It's been a long time coming and although it was a lot of money I think it's worth it. The day I decided that I wouldn't get a high school graduation ring I made it a point to get a college one. There's just a lot more importance and meaning in a college ring. How many people care about whether or not a person is an alumni of their old high school? Sure it's a neat thing, but that's it.

Got into a bicycle wreck with one of my roommates the other night while we were out for a 4 hour joy ride. It had been a really fun evening packed with singing, talking, eating, laughing. I guess it had to have it's down side. Basically he lost control and swerved in front of me and then I T-boned him. My bike was ok, his wasn't. His body was was ok, mine wasn't. My left quadricep landed right on his rear gear shift and bent it inwards. Which proceeded to bend the entire tire. So basically it's no usable. My left leg is barely usable as well. I feel like I have a giant bruise on my leg and I can barely put weight on it, but there's no bruising. I feel like it's gotten a little better so I'm just going to continue hoping for the best.

Real quick note. I love serving on the AVLC team. It's probably one of the best things that has happened to me throughout college. I am thankful and blessed to have everyone in AVLC in my life.

So Here I Am

2009-01-27T21:51:00.003-06:00

It's been a while. A good while.

So I've decided I'm going to keep this blog updated.
After sitting on the couch for about half an hour trying to think up a clever name for this post I remembered about good ole Xanga. Remember Xanga? I don't know how I did it but I managed to remember my password and username to Xanga. I looked around and read some old posts and visited some friends sites that were still up. So many events still left logged in the vast wasteland that is the internet. Although tempted to resurrect Xanga I have a little more invested in this blog. It's odd though how pretty much everyone I knew that had Xanga has just abandoned it. There Xanga sites are there, just sitting, ageless, never to go away. The idea that there are so many pages out there on the net that can get 0 hits ever and go years without an update is amazing to me. What if the internet were not limitless and it were like real estate, we'd be talking about a valuable commodity then.

So why try this blog thing out? Well I'm approaching an important time in every persons life, entering the real world. Whether you go there straight after high school or delay the inevitable by going to college, it happens to all of us. I'll be honest, I'm scared, but I have faith that I'll be ok. I really do believe that God has a plan for my life and I'm excited to live it out. Where he calls me I will go.

Recent Happenings:
Interning at Clear Channel Radio in Austin,TX
My little brother got his gall bladder taken out
I just moved in with Jared, Ryan, and Nate
I produced my first service at Austin Stone

I haven't decided where all this blog is going or how it's getting there, but it's going to be the real deal.

I've got my life in a suitcase,
I'm ready to run, run, run away..
I've got no time, 'cause I'm always trying to run, run, run away
'Cause everyday in here feels like it's only a game.
I've got my life in a suitcase, a suitcase, a suitcase...
-Copeland-

So this is it.

2008-06-20T11:02:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow morning I'm leaving Cádiz, a place that I've started to realize I appreciate more than I thought I did. So far packing has been one of the most frustrating things I've ever done. First of all yall should know that I never pack my own bags whenever I go anywhere. If I'm leaving from Houston my mom packs it all for me while I watch and OK what's going into the bags. I've seen her do it multiple times but it's been a lot harder to recreate than I thought it would be. I've been packing one suitcase for a couple days now and I thought it was really heavy, then I tried to pick up the other one and I nearly ripped my arm off. Now I have to find a way to move things around back and forth so that they're about even. I haven't bought a lot of things because I'm not really big on stuff like souvenirs, but I feel like one of my bags is half full of souvenirs. Did I really buy that many postcards?
I must just really suck at packing. I'm leaving some clothing behind and donating them because their kind of worn out and from all the hang drying and my horrible washing skills I'm pretty sure I wouldn't wear then anymore. Even with the clothes being left behind packing hasn't gotten any easier. I'm pretty sure I'll get everything in one way or another it's just been a frustrating process. One of the new American girls that arrived in my dorm offered to help me pack but I had to decline because I'd be to tempted to let her do it for me. Oh well. Packing will be over soon.
Trial number two was finding a place to stay in Madrid while I wait to fly home. Fortunately I found a place for two days but not all three. Which kind of works out because now I can go to Sevilla for one last day with some of the new Americans that arrived in Cádiz. I'll stay there for a night then head to Madrid the next morning. It's going to suck hauling all my luggage around with me from my hostel in Sevilla to the train station, then from the Madrid train station to my Madrid hostel, then from my Madrid hostel to the airport. After this little trip home is over I'm going to need a nice simple vacation because it's really worn me out.
I'm excited to go home. I've said bye to a few people already as they parted to their homes. It's kind of weird to close a chapter of my life like this, but there really is no other choice. Well there is... but that'd be insane. Hopefully home is good. I assume it will be, but we'll see how it is. It's going to be really interesting being home. I might actually have to be productive and do things. I haven't had to really do anything in a long time. Hopefully people back home will let me ease back into life or else I'll probably become a hermit. It's going to be nuts going from such a slow world to something like Houston and Austin again. I definitely feel that it's going to be something like me feeling like I'm moving in slow motion while the rest of the world whizzes by me.
Although this blog was originally intended as a travel blog it never really was used as that. It's turned into my outlet of sorts. I enjoy reading my horribly choppy sentences and ideas, maybe one day I'll get a book made like Jeff Bechdel of my blog. But that probably won't happen until I find something better to write about than just my packing woes.
I'm going to give packing another go now. I wish my clothes would just put themselves away like they do for Mary Poppins.

Happenings of Late

2008-05-14T17:00:00.005-05:00

Times around here have been interesting. Since I've been back things seem to have been put on fast forward. For a little while there that made me really happy but now I'm bummed. I've decided to go home earlier than expected due to the fact that I'd be traveling on my own if I stayed to do that. I've traveled a decent amount on my own while here and it's just not the same or entertaining. Sure I can see things that I want to and at my own pace, but sometimes I just want to take a goofy picture and it's hard taking it on my own or it's embarrassing to ask someone to take it for me. I'd like the opportunity to come back, hopefully next summer, and do all the traveling I've dreamed of doing.
I was sitting around somewhere the other day when it hit me that I'm in Spain. Well, honestly and a little sadly, it's not super clear in my head that I'm in Spain yet. It was more of the realization that I made it here. Since the day I knew what studying abroad was in early high school/middle school I've said that I'm going to study in Spain, and now I'm here. Pretty much a life long dream come true. Pretty cool. Definitely a blessing. It's definitely been an experience and hasn't been exactly what I dreamed it would be, but that's ok with me. I'm here. As my time here keeps getting shorter and shorter I'm finding it so much more beautiful and interesting and I know that by the time it's time for me to leave it's going to be exactly what I always wanted it to be. Which sucks, but for it to hit that point for only a day will mean the world to me.

I went to a bullfight. It was not at all cool. I understand that it's part of the Spanish culture, but it's so cruel to the bull. I have tons of video of the bull fight and when you see it you'll definitely agree that no animal deserves what these bulls get. That's why I'll post this.

This was definitely more enjoyable to me than seeing bulls die, because in case you didn't know at every bull fight six bulls die. Even though this bull totally stuck it to this guy and was definitely the better being in the arena, it had no control over it's fate. It'll always be destined to die. Which I don't think is fair. It did make for a lot of good pictures though. If you ever have the opportunity to see one I'd say go for it, but be warned that by the end of it you won't ever want to go again. It's one of those things you have to do once, once you've seen it once you know once is enough. Or I might be wrong and you'll think it's way more entertaining than Nintendo Wii. I highly doubt that though.

I'm just throwing this in here because it's something that's rolled around my head lately. Be warned, it's about my Dad.
Anyways, it came to my attention the other day that not once did I ever think my Dad was mad at me. Well there was this one time my senior year in high school where I wasn't in the top ten percent during the first part of the semester. He was kind of mad about that and I think he had reason to be. There was no reason for me not to be except for my own laziness and slacking off. Anything and everything I needed to succeed and do well were provided by him and my mother and I'm pretty smart so I should have never been on the bubble. In return I was a little peeved myself, but I had no real reason to be I just didn't want to admit that I had dropped the ball. Luckily I managed to pick up the pace that last semester and made it back in. After that my Dad actually sort of apologized to me. Which was totally out of left field. It meant a lot. But that was my Dad, he was a good guy. One time when I was in RA's I missed the bus for a walk-a-thon in San Jacinto, as in where the battle of San Jacinto occurred, and my Dad drove me all the way there. And although we never actually found anyone from my RA's group I was still there. There were also all the projects that I left for the last minute that he'd help me out with. Most outward frustration that came from these night was from my mom, but it was well deserved because those nights were always ridiculous and she warned me all the time about leaving things for the last minute. One time we built an entire zoo in one night. My mom and dad made benches, potted plants, and all sorts of things out of things we had lying around. It was a pretty sweet zoo. If my Dad was really ever angry at me he never let me know it. I remember a little frustration here and there, but that's it. He was a bunch of love to me and he'd do anything for us, and he showed it time and time again. He was pretty great.

What To Say...

2008-04-23T16:24:00.002-05:00

So my Dad passed away April 3rd, he was 53. Life hasn't really been the same ever since. At first I kind of just played it off, didn't really think about it and pretty much just joked around. Why? Well I've come to realize it was for the sake of everyone else. In all honesty that's pretty much the only topic I would like to talk about, but not everyone is willing to listen to you blabber on. Not only is it hard to find the right things to say to someone that has suffered a loss, but it's just one of those uncomfortable situations. I feel, no, I know there's a lot left for me to deal with regarding this subject but it's just not the right time and place to deal with this. I'm in Spain. I don't want to talk to anyone here about this. They don't know me. I wish I could have gotten this all out of my system while I was home but I really didn't know what I was dealing with. I honestly thought that the fact that I could smile, laugh, and crack jokes meant that God had given me peace over the situation. Not true.

On the plane back it hit me. My Dad isn't going to be waiting for me at the airport when I get back. He's not going to be coming back later in the day from work. He won't be sitting on that same spot on the couch. He isn't going to be available to answer my calls about car problems or home repairs. I can't touch his prickly beard, or his hands, or mess around with him. He's just not going to be there at all. I just turned 22, it's not supposed to be like this. What the crap!

So now I'm in this mode where I can't smile, laugh, joke around, or feel joy because I feel guilt. Guilt that I'm not over my Dad's passing but I can forget about it in order to feel these total opposite emotions. When do you get over something like this? There's not a check list that you can just go down and mark off and then you're done.

I turned 22 this past Sunday. I didn't do anything special. I usually find a way to treat myself on my birthdays but this year it just wasn't a priority. I went to bed early and cleaned up my room a little. I've reached a new stage in my life. I want to believe that I'll be able to go back to fooling around and being who I was but it's hit me that I'm growing up, there's new responsibilities coming my way. I'm the oldest in my family, that definitely has a burden to bear without my Dad, and I'm just about set to graduate from UT. I feel like I've been thrown on the fast track to maturity and adult hood. A few weeks ago I didn't think I'd ever mature. Crazy how life is.

I'm going to do my best to enjoy the rest of my time here in Europe because it's definitely what my Dad wanted me to do, and it's why I'm back. But when I get home who knows what'll be. Izzy might have to start taking steps to grow up into Israel.

Guiri's

2008-04-03T00:14:00.002-05:00

This past weekend I went off for a second go round in Barcelona, was it incredible? Yes. It was a blast and a half. I met up with Jackie, Josh, and Jésus and had one of the most entertaining, yet exhausting, weekends ever. We saw everything, ate everything, and met probably everyone there was to know. Well maybe not met everyone, but we met a lot of people that were stinking great.

My flight was at 6:30 Thursday morning so I had to leave for Sevilla Wednesday night to be there on time for my flight. This turned out being really interesting. Turns out the Sevilla airport closes from 1:30 to 5:30 so I ended up having to spend the night sitting out in front of the airport with some other travelers. It was cold, I didn't sleep, and I refused to sit down because I didn't want to get dirty. But it wasn't all bad. I met an Italian guy name Sylvio who lives in Barcelona and lives a pretty cool life. When he wants to work he works as a bartender or as a concierge in hotels, and when he doesn't want to work he works as a private tour guide for rich people. He's been all over the world. Since last August he's been to Thailand, China, Vietnam, Brazil, Morocco, and I'm more than likely leaving something out. He was a really nice guy and we got to talking and got pretty chummy. It was a good way to make the time pass while sitting out there.

When it was time to go our separate ways I kind of dissed Sylvio on accident. We were both headed to Barcelona, and like I said we got chummy, so he said something about meeting up in Barcelona. I thought he said that maybe we'd run into each other into Barcelona, but when I looked over he had his hand going towards his phone as if to get my number. Unfortunately I was already laughing about running into each other in such a big city, and he pulled away from his phone. I felt like a jerk. What was creepy was that after I arrived in Barcelona I took a little nap in the airport and when I was leaving I ran into Sylvio again. We grabbed breakfast, grabbed the train, and then we parted. Good guy.

The rest of the trip was ridiculous. I took a bajillion pictures. Ate a bajillion things. And spent a bajillion dollars. Not really but it felt like it. Actually I didn't spend as much as I thought I would, so that's good.

While in Barcelona I had a period of "life thinking." I want to work hard. I'd like to interact with people and be creative and take risks. I'd like to work on something and then have it pay off big time and feel a since of accomplishment. I want to wear a tie. I want to carry a briefcase. But I don't want to wear a suit. I thought I didn't want to make any money because it'd only be a distraction, but now I do. I'd like to drive a Porsche one day. I'd like to have a farm. I want to help those in need. I want to work in the ministry. I want to travel. I want to have a family. I don't want to have to juggle my family and work. I want to speak spanish daily. I'd like to adopt a kid. I'd like to write a children's book. I'm registering for my second to last semester at UT in a little over a week. After that it'll be time to get some of these ideas rolling and push other aside. Holy crap.

Reposo?

2008-03-19T21:26:00.002-05:00

So last Monday night I got sick. Not the usual cough, sneeze, snotty nose kind of sick that i've been getting used to. I'm talking I went to the doctor, which I never do. Here's a recap.

Monday Night:
At dinner Ruben, a dorm kid, made the comment that I had been quite and kind of separated from the group. I did have a ton on my mind at that time but I didn't realize I was being so obvious. As to not be a downer any longer I figured I'd just go up to my room and go to bed. On the way up I figured I'd take a long hot shower and then watch a movie, rather than going to bed like a kid who had been punished.
I took my shower, laid in bed, and watched an anime movie called Ninja Scroll. (Yes. An anime. Don't hate.) It was good, but not anything super cool like I expected from a flick that's raved about by everyone. Anyways, I got up from bed to brush my teeth and this is when it all went down. I got up from bed and started shaking like a mad man. It was ridiculous. It wasn't a shiver from being cold, I was shaking. It was scary. I stood in front of my sink and watched myself for a little just to make sure I wasn't changing colors or anything but I was ok on that aspect. I'm all about this mind over matter stuff so I grabbed on to the sink and I looked at myself and I said to myself. "Stop shaking." I did stop for a little but then I kept right on. I managed to brush my teeth and then I slid back into bed hoping that it would stop. But it didn't. It actually started to affect my breathing and I started breathing really, really hard. I was pretty sure I was about to kick the bucket by this point. I didn't know what was going on. I prayed to God and was pretty much ready for whatever when my breathing got back to normal and I managed to get some shut eye, but then IT hit. Diarrhea. Ugh.
Tuesday Morning:
Tuesday morning came around and I turned off any alarm that went off. I felt like crap and I was determined not to go to my one and only class of the day at noon. When I finally felt like it was time to get out of bed I went over to the computer and realized that I hadn't even slept past noon and that I could still make it to class. That was a bummer. Being the grand student that I am, I put on some clothes and walked to the university. It was probably the worst walk I've ever had. I felt like I was going to pass out the whole way there and I was praying that I didn't have the urge to...what's the word i'm looking for....diarrhea? Not have the urge to diarrhea? That work? Anyways. I made it to class. Afterwards I dragged myself to the API office and waited for Carmen, my program director, to complain to her about how I was dying and needed help. By this time I was dizzy, my body ached, I had nausea, I had diarrhea, my body had been shaking, my breathing had gone hay wire, and I wanted my mommy. But we went to the doctor instead.
Like I expected, he looked at me, felt me up, and made his diagnosis. Gastroenteritis. Sometimes I wish they would humor me and take longer than 20 minutes to diagnose me. It makes me feel like my trip was worth it and that I'm not being a baby about something minor.

Gastroenteritis. Don't know what that is but I had to stay in bed for two days straight and couldn't drink or eat anything. It sucked. By the end of day two I was so dehydrated and weak. I was going nuts. Then when I was able to eat I had to eat things that we didn't have at the dorm so I had to trek out on my own to find them. GAY!

I missed 4 classes and I'm pissed about that. I don't have too much class that I have to attend here and I feel like a jerk if I even consider not going. We had tickets to watch some famous dancer named Sara Baras so I went on Wednesday night, but I hated it the whole time. It was loud and I felt like death. I bet I would have enjoyed it a little more if I had been my usual self.

Luckily this week has been Semana Santa so we have no school. But rather than have fun and go out I'm still re-cooperating from my fling with Gastroenteritis. Hopefully I'll be back to normal by the end of the week or else I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't stand having health issues here. It's just not the same. I have to take care of myself!

Whatever... If it doesn't kill me it'll only make me stronger.

Hopefully this is as bad as it's going to get for me. I don't know if I can handle anything worse. Going through this whole ordeal has actually made me homesick for the very first time.

Spit Wads and Poop

2008-03-04T15:29:00.004-06:00

Hello. Since I arrived in Cádiz I've constantly had some sort of health problem. I had a cold, then I had another cold, then I had some sort of allergies, and now I have a cough that just won't quit. It's been pretty ridiculous. Not sure what it is about this place but I just can't seem to be 100% healthy. Luckily it's not to the point where I'm miserable, it's not really bothering me that much, but it's still annoying. It can't last forever though. Eventually these foolish Spanish germs have to realize that I have some Spanish in me and let me go.

Besides the cough things are good. My dorm is nice, the food is great, I enjoy my classes, I love taking my siestas, and the weather is beautiful. Even being the only foreigner in the dorm is starting to become a little easier. Tonight at dinner we got off the usual argument about who's country was better and politics and we talked about a subject that has united men around the world for ages. Poop. It wasn't a long conversation but it's good to know that even here they appreciate a good poop reference. It reminded of those times back home when I could sit around with some guys and just take up a good bit of time talking about poop or some other oddity. Ah, good times.

A little later I was sitting at my desk when I heard a thud and my window shook. I looked up and saw nothing. I got back to work and then heard another, but this time I saw something. Since one of my buddies rooms' is below mine I figured he was throwing stuff up at me so I opened the window to see if that was the case. It turns out it was the guy below me but he wasn't below me. He was at a window across the court yard with another one of the guys throwing huge spit wads at me. Why? I think I'm officially their friend. I mean how else do you tell another guy that he's your friend besides talk about poop and throw stuff at each other? It's the international sign of friendship between two guys. You don't walk up to another guy give him a hug and say "We're friends now." I think I'd run. That'd be uncomfortable. One thing you don't do is throw poop at each other. Maybe in some other country but not in the U.S. and not in Spain. At least as far as I know.

Something random but true. Last night I had a desire to be back in high school. It was really weird. I think it's starting to get to me that I have to go off into the real world pretty soon so I'm running back in time. If only I could have left these thoughts back in the states along with some others. Whatever though. We all have to grow up someway, somehow, sometime.

My regular spanish class that I started yesterday is great. I'm already cool with the teachers and that's never a bad thing. That makes it 3 out of 4 teachers that I've got my "in" with. The 4th one is a little scary and intimidating but I'm sure she's nice once you get past everything that scares the bejesus out of me. We'll see.

One of my buddies, Hector, plays guitar. He and crew dressed like 16th century musicians came to serenade this girl, Andrea, that he's been flirting with/been trying to date since I've been here. I was going for a walk when I saw the guy coming down the street so I asked him what was going on. All he said was that he was playing outside the dorm. I ran back ahead of him grabbed my camera and set up shop. All I got were pictures of his face after he was rejected. She went out to the balcony and then ran back inside after realizing what it was. It was sad to see him get rejected like that. But everything is cool between them now as far as I can tell.

Some random thoughts: I think I lost this card. I don't really need it, but I might. I'm pretty sure if I get stabbed or something I'll need it. I also thought I lost my cell phone today, but I had just left it on the bed. The main light in my room went out last night. I'm going to need a haircut soon, but I'm really afraid of what they might do to me. But really I just don't want to pay for it. I don't really want to spend anymore money. I've taken 1045 photographs since arriving in Spain. I miss having a lot of shoes to choose from, but only wearing one pair.

Can Culleretes

2008-02-29T12:50:00.012-06:00

Josh and I decided to treat ourselves to dinner at the oldest restaurant in Barcelona.

Why? Because we're special.

This is photo documentation of that memorable dinner.

Location: Can Culleretes, Barcelona, España

Bon Apétit!

1786

The University of Texas didn't exist.

The United States had only won its independence a few years before.

Crazy huh?

Plastic? I think not. We only drink out of glass bottles.

After realizing that we couldn't understand the menu in Spanish we opted for English.

I know, I know, we're supposed to know Spanish. Sorry.

Israel: CANELONES WITH SPINACH AND COD FISH

Josh: SALAD WITH PARMESAN CHEESE, WALNUT AND DUCKS HAM

Israel: SIRLOIN STEAK WITH WILD MOSHROOMS

Josh: WILD BOAR GAME STEW

Israel: CINNAMON ICE-CREAM

Josh: CREMA CATALANA

Just in case you forgot. Only glass for us. No aluminum here either.

Classy, real classy.

Ridiculously good. I ate it all.

Josh is on a diet. He'd getting pudgy.

Not really though.

Proof I ate it all.

We know how to get our money's worth.

Wild boar didn't sound tempting, but it was pretty delicious.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I live in Andalucia. I live off pork and seafood.

I miss cows.

After the damage had been done.

Me carnivore. Grrrrr.

Cinnamon Ice Cream.

Ok. So I was expecting something totally different with this one.

It was home-made vanilla ice cream with a ton of cinnamon poured in.

It was amazing. But grainy.

I expected it to be smooth. I didn't mind the texture, it was lovely, but it caught me off guard.

Catalans know their desserts.

And since we were already splurging on dinner might as well end it with a cup of coffee.

It was definitely a nice touch to our lovely evening.

Why is your napkin all stretched out like that Josh?

Ah yes. I forgot you let the table have a little bit of all your courses.

Silly guy, tables don't eat that much.

Connoisseurs.

That's our bill......

That's euros.

Ouch.

Worth it? Well let's see.

1. Dinner with Josh

2. 2 1/2 hours of food and laughter

3. Feeling a little closer to home

4. Great food

5. Dining at the oldest restaurant in Barcelona

6. Beginning of a fun night

7. Tons of pictures

8. Great story to tell

9. Catching up with a good friend

10. Living life to its fullest

I think so.

Wooden carvings in the downstairs dining area. That's the king and queen.

Bailando en Barcelona

2008-02-29T07:07:00.005-06:00

Last weekend started on Thursday. I took a train out to Sevilla at 9 AM, arrived at about 10:15 AM, and started a solo walking tour of the city. It was beautiful. I had no map, just my eyes, mind, and their attraction to the sights in front of me. Basically if I saw something that looked interesting to see I'd walk in that direction, no matter how far it looked. I didn't have anywhere to be until 10:30 that night so time was not a factor. After 8 hours of walking, no joke, I had seen basically an entire corner of the city, or so I thought. In reality I had walked over just about half of it, which was fine with me, I loved every second of it. I sat and read in front of the capitol, found a huge park and laid in the grass for a little bit, walked around an orange grove, practiced my spanish, saw tons of sights, had a snack on the edge of the river, it was pretty much the perfect little walking excursion. Will never forget it.

So after 8 hours I called the rest of the Cádiz kids, who were supposed to be in Sevilla by this time, and met up with them on the other side of town. No biggy. We met up and walked to the apartment of some of out friends from orientation that live in Sevilla and just hung out

there while my body rested a little. For dinner someone had the grand idea to go to the oldest tapas bar, like a snack meal type thing, in Sevilla that's been owned by the same family since like the 15th century. That's old.

That night I slept super well in our hotel besides the fact that I knew I'd be getting up at 6 the next morning to catch a plane to Barcelona and was going to see the one and only Josh Jeter.

Barcelona was ridiculous. There is just way too much to see. API, the program I'm here with, set us up on this bus tour, but it wasn't very good. It was fast a

nd we were in a bus. Not too enjoyable. We did get 2 1/2 days of free time though, so we were able to re-visit just about everything. But like I said, there's just way too much to see so I'll be making another trek back there soon.

I could go off about how cool everything was but since I lack in textual expression I just wouldn't be able to get the words out to express it in the way each attraction deserves. All I can say is La Sagrada Familia is probably the most impressive building I've ever seen. To have a mind to bring something so detailed and unreal to life is remarkable. Props to Gaudi for his brilliance in all he did. I've made the goal that as soon as the Sagrada Familia is done, in about 20-25 years, I will be back to see it. I've seen it under construction and was impressed, I can't imagine its beauty when complete.

Besides seeing all the sights it was really cool to see Josh. It made me sad that I didn't end up in Barcelona, but I know that I was meant for Cádiz for a purpose so I'll continue to seek that. Josh and I had a great time. We caught up on life, talked about our experiences, laughed a but load, and basically just had a chance to feel like we were 100% back home. It was nice. We also ate dinner at the oldest

restaurant in Barcelona, Can Culleretes. That was an unforgettable experience and definitely a story that stands alone from my whole trip to Barcelona. We've definitely got a long way to go on being refined. Josh more so than I.

Who knows when I will make it back to Barcelona but God willing it will be soon. It's a beautiful place. The culture, the architecture, the language, the air, the people, the sounds, they're all so different from the rest of Spain. Madrid seems to compare, but then it doesn't at all. I can see why many Catalan people say that their not part of Spain, it's truly like entering a different country. I can't wait to see what other regions of Spain are like.

P.S. One thing API has really impressed me on is the location of the hotels that they book for us. This beautiful sight was literally right across the plaza from me. I'll forgive the bus trip.

Last Days of Total Freedom

2008-02-14T15:51:00.014-06:00

This is my API Cádiz crew. (L-R: Ben, Mariah, Me, Kelsey, Russ) It's a pretty interesting group to say the least. There's three Texans, a Rhode Islander, and a Washingtonian (That right?). This picture was snapped on Wednesday on top of Torre Tavira. It's the highest point in the old city and served as a watch tower for merchants. They installed the first camera obscura in Spain on this tower and if you've ever seen a camera obscura, or haven't, this one's a must to check out. It was amazing although quite brief of a show....kind of disappointing on that note.

This past week we had the Intensive Spanish course and it was great. Our professor, Laura, was amazing. She was pretty young and taught us as if we were kids. Pictures and everything! It was great. It really helped. Not only did she actually get the work we needed to get through out of the way but she gave us time to chat about anything and everything. We covered just about everything there is in life. We mostly talked about differences between Spanish and American culture but that's probably one of my favorite subjects to talk about right now. Although Spain is very much like Mexico in appearance, or Mexico very much like Spain, I'm enjoying learning about its history, economy, culture, fashion, politics, and just about any other subject I can get a conversation going about. Overall the Intensive Spanish course was a great success.

One of my final carnival experiences was a "Disney" show, as they called it in the ads, although it didn't have much Disney to it. It was basically an old guy in an oversized shirt who spoke in a really weird voice, and a young woman in short shorts and small jacket. Although my comrades and I didn't make it through more than 20 minutes of the show, the Spanish kids were entranced. I don't know why though. First of all there were no stage decorations, just an empty black stage with a couple of plain chairs as props. The show was in the middle of the day so there weren't any lighting effects. No pyrotechnics. Nothing swinging around. No nothing. Just two characters on stage talking. They sang songs and did the whole, "watch me attempt ridiculous stunts but fail at them/do them but trick you and do them in a way that's not as cool as the way I made you believe they would be" bit. But the kids ate it up. The best part of what I saw was a song they sang before I left about a girl who couldn't go out to play because she had to iron, wash clothes, sweep, hang clothes, cook, dust, you get the idea. I loved it.

A fireworks show over Castillo de San Sebastian was the event that truly marked the end of Carnival 2008. It lasted for about 30 minutes and was a way of assuring me that the small town I call home was now going to be a small quiet town. So far it's been nice to have the town nice and quiet. Although I could do without the cold weather. Except it's not really that it's cold, it's that it's windy here all day long and nobody knows why. Global warming maybe?

Well to stay out of the cold I attended a flamenco show which I was invited to by a friend at Peña Flamenca la Perla de Cádiz. I met Ally, my friend, on New Years in Houston at a family

friends house and it turned out that she lived in a tiny town about 35 minutes from Cádiz, and has all sort of cool friends, besides being cool herself. One of the girls that Ally studied flamenco with in Seville (Ally: 1 Cool Pt), was performing so she invited me to tag a long (Ally:

2 Cool Pts) with her and her boyfriend (Ally: 3 Cool Pts). I was introduced to her friend, Samantha (Far Left) who in this show played las palmas (clapped the beat) (Ally: 4 Cool Pts.) Then Ben, Mariah and I, who tagged a long with me, just stood around and talked to Ally and Alberto till the place started turning off its lights. Alberto is in school studying music so we talked about that for a while, and then I brought up the fact that I wanted to see the Misfits in Seville and turns out Ally was a punk rocker back in her day (Ally: 5 Cool Pts.) so that was cool. Then we talked about ways people express themselves since Ally is an artist (Ally: 6 Cool Pts.) and Alberto is a musician and I dabble in drawing and other things. But yeah it was sweet and by the end Ally was up to at least 10 Cool points.

Life is good. It's nice to feel so safe and secure in a foreign country, and it's only because I truly feel like I'm being watched over. It was a huge blessing to have met Ally in Houston, and that's just another blessing to add to a growing list of blessings that only deal with this study abroad adventure of mine. God is good.

School?

2008-02-08T13:30:00.000-06:00

So school hasn't started yet, and classes don't officially start at the university until the 19th. I do have an Intensive Spanish course next week that I have to take but it's not really anything special and doesn't really seem to be that big of a deal, just something my program set up to prepare us for the real deal.

But until then I'll just continue wondering around this city trying to learn every little street of this maze I call home. It's pretty fun trying to walk home and realizing your lost, but only because you can't ever really be lost. You'll run into something familiar really fast and know exactly where you're at. Then the fun is over.

I had my camera with me the other day when I was out on the beach so I snapped some pictures of the the sunset. I'm going to keep track of how many sunsets I see while here. Right now I'm at 3. The beaches here are pretty nice. It's still way too cold to get in, at least for me, but I've seen a few brave souls venture in a little. I'm super excited about going

fishing, snorkeling, building sand castles, and just doing everything else there is to do by the water. I'm not really a beach person, but i've never really had the beach so close to me.

The kids here are super cute. I want to take one home with me. They just seem way more innocent and into being kids then kids back in the US. I walk around the streets and they're playing ridiculous games and their moms all have them dressed super nice. It's adorable. It's great. They're silly and I enjoy laughing at them as they run past me or maybe just popping a smile up to their parents because their kids just made my stroll a cajillion times better.

I have to do my own laundry. Which means I have to hang my clothes to dry. Which i've never done before in my life. A new adventure awaits.

Cádiz Gone Crazy

2008-02-03T18:37:00.000-06:00

Here in Cádiz we're in the middle of "Carnival". Basically it comes a month before "Semana Santa", Holy Week, and it's a time to party as hard as possible before you enter a state of religious celebration. It's been pretty crazy and I've never seen so much trash in my life. To be honest with you I think people in the states would party a lot harder than the people in Spain.

The week is full of singing and shows, the main attraction is the chirigotas competition. Chirigotas are humorous groups that perform satirical pieces about everything from politics to current events. They really do cover a huge range of topics. From younger generations smoking weed, to bad doctors, to royal affairs, to the catholic church. They're pretty funny, if you know they're background. If this happened in the states we'd be singing about Britney Spears, O.J. Simpson, George Bush, social security, the elections, maybe the federal interest rate cuts, topics along those lines.

It's been nice to see and be here for Carnival but I'm excited to see the city at it's normal self. It seems really chill and the people i've met that studied here say it feels like a long vacation when you study here. I've already begun to experience anxiety from how slow people move and live here. I'll definitely be returning to the states a much more patient man. That's if I ever return at all...

I will. Just kidding. Don't get your panties all in a knot. It is super t

empting though. Making friends, which I have and are great and I feel so blessed to have made in only two days and I've already watched a movie in one of their dorm rooms, makes me not want to leave because I want to...I'm not sure what but I don't want to leave them. Of course I love my friends back home, but for some odd reason this is different. We''ll see what clicks on this topic later on.

It's nice to have a week off before classes even start but the city looks pretty crappy right now and I don't want to wander around in streets of garbage. There's already more than enough dog poo for me in the streets of Cádiz, human waste isn't going to make it prettier.

¡Olé!

2008-02-01T09:25:00.000-06:00

And so my journey begins. On January 27th, 2008 my parents dropped my off at George Bush Intercontinental Airport where I boarded a British Airways flight to London, where I was barely able to catch a connecting flight to Madrid with my traveling partner Mariah.

Mariah is a great story. Mariah just so happen to sit next to me on a practically empty flight to London, where through a little chit chatting we discovered that we were both from H

ouston, both students at UT, and both going to Cádiz with API to study. She's great. I've given her the nickname of Sleepy because she seems to be sleeping or wanting to sleep at just about anytime of the day.

We were in Madrid for 4 days for orientation and sight seeing with groups going to Seville and Bilbao. Madrid has some baller sandwiches for €.80 and sometimes cheaper. They were everywhere and varied in fillings so I made it a habit to get some of these for a snack...or just so I could try every different type.

I really got to know the Bilbao students and really enjoyed their company during our stay in Madrid. The funny thing is that most of them are from the north east so I got to tell them about Jeff Bechdel and how much (playful) crap I give him for being a "yankee." The whole north/south topic of conversation is so much fun. I was even asked at one point if there were monkeys in Texas. Yes, monkeys.

Oh those Bilbao kids. They're all art students and maybe that's why I fit in so well with them. Before we left for Cádiz I got the offer to be snuck to Bilbao in a suitcase and that definitely let me feel the love. The Cádiz kids are cool, but Bilbao hit me hard and quick with who they were. Pretty cool.

Unfortunately we had to part ways and now I'm in Cádiz, but Cádiz is baller. It's small but beautiful and has everything you need. Living in the dorms on my own is very scary and intimidating but by the grace of God some of the kids here have already extended their hands in friendship. God willing more and better friendships will flourish from this little housing situation of mine.

In My Life

2008-01-05T03:10:00.000-06:00

There are places I'll remember

All my life though some have changed

Some forever not for better

Some have gone and some remain

All these places had their moments

With lovers and friends I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life I've loved them all

-The Beatles-

(An attempt at documenting the beauty that is life.)